I watched the interview between Stephen Colbert and Ben 'n' Jerry on The Colbert Report when Stephen got his "Americone Dream" ice cream. Stephen mentioned a flavor for the Democrats, like Cut and Run something. So I created "Cut & Rum" ice cream! :] Enjoy!

This is a Jon/Stephen fic (what else, lol?) that I threw together tonight. I just got the idea and had to write it. So I risk failing a project to entertain you, my readers. :D Enjoy!




Jon Stewart sat down at his desk in his office. He had Christmas lights up around the building, even though he was Jewish. He was more than willing to show support for one of the most popular holidays of the year.
As he scratched his head and sighed exasperatedly, he noticed an envelope sitting on his computer. He tilted his head in curiosity, picking up the envelope.
“To Jon, Love Stephen.” he read aloud, smiling. He turned the envelope over to open it up, but noticed something written on the back.
“Do NOT open til our staff meeting.” Jon let out a grunt with a twinge of annoyance, but put the envelope into his folder, which he planned on bringing to the meeting. He checked his watch and saw that he had about half an hour of free time. He pushed his chair back just slightly, rested his arms on his desk, and laid his head down on his arms. After a moment or two, he drifted off into sleep.



“Jon? You comin?”
The voice, accompanied by a knock, woke Jon from his not-so-deep slumber. He groaned as he lifted his head, checking the time. He rubbed his eyes awake, grabbed his folder off the desk, and slowly made his way to the door. He was still exhausted, but at least he’d gotten a little sleep.
As he entered the hall, he bumped into Stephen Colbert, his best friend and secret sex partner. He dropped his folder and the envelope slid out onto the floor.
“Hey, Stephen.”
“Hey, Jon. Good, you haven’t opened it yet.”
“It said not to.” Jon smirked as he picked up the envelope and the folder. Stephen smiled at him, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing.
“You’re gonna love it.” he said with a chuckle.
“Oh, God.”
“What?”
“You’ve got that evil look on your face.” Jon said, eyeing his lover. Stephen smirked for a split second, then immediately acted defensive.
“Aw, I’m offended Jon. You really will love it!”
“Alright, alright, I’ll take your word for it.”
They walked to the meeting together, chatting casually and stopping once for a kiss when no one was looking. They stepped into the meeting room, better known as the Think Tank, and saw the major heads of both of their staffs sitting at the huge table in the center of the room. Jon and Stephen sat at opposite ends of the table.
“Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming.” Jon said.
“We know nothing’s gonna be going on while the strike’s still on, but I think we should discuss how we can support our talented writers.” Stephen said. Everyone began to murmur a little and Stephen motioned for Jon to open the envelope. Jon chuckled lightly and opened the envelope, as instructed. He pulled out a Christmas card and gave Stephen a weird look.
“Um, okay, I read online that fans of the shows are sending unsharpened pencils to the studios…I don’t see why we can’t do the same. And jeez, we can afford a ton of them, so what do you guys say?” Jon said, staring at the card for a moment, then looking up at everyone. They all seemed to like the idea.
“Alright, we’ll divide everyone into groups and each group will get a studio.” Stephen said, motioning again to Jon, this time for him to read the card. Jon smirked and read the front of the card as the staff around him spoke in hushed tones, not really paying attention to him. Jon opened the card.
“WELCOME TO MY -”
Jon quickly shut the card. It was one of those cards that played a song when you open it, and the entire room was now staring at him. He smiled sheepishly at everyone, then looked down at the card and opened it again.

“WELCOME TO MY CHRISTMAS SONG,
I’D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR THE YEAR!
SO I’M SENDING YOU THIS CHRISTMAS CARD,
TO SAY IT’S NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE!
STEP INTO CHRISTMAS,
LET’S JOIN TOGETHER,
WE CAN WATCH THE SNOW FALL FOREVER AND EVER!
EAT, DRINK, BE MERRY,
COME ALONG WITH ME,
STEP INTO CHRISTMAS,
THE ADMISSION’S FREE!”

Jon shut the card and burst out laughing, as did everyone else. Stephen was the only one keeping a straight face, but smiling ever so slightly. Jon leaned forward and tried desperately to catch his breath, noticing Stephen’s look. He smirked stupidly and thanked him in sign language; touching his fingertips to his chin then moving his hand forward away from himself til his fingertips were pointing to his lover. Stephen couldn’t help but laugh a little, nodded, and winked.



“Okay, you do know that I’m Jewish, right?” Jon said, locking the door behind himself. Stephen was sitting on his office couch, and Jon quickly joined him.
“Of course. Doesn’t mean I can’t give you a Christmas card.” Stephen replied, resting his head on Jon’s shoulder.
“Well…I guess not…” Jon said with a laugh. He ran his fingers through Stephen’s hair and kissed his head lightly. As he tilted his head back and rested it on the back of the couch, he stared up at the sky through the huge bay window behind them. He gasped in a breath.
“Stephen, look.” he whispered. Stephen looked up through the window and smiled, running a hand up Jon’s chest.
“Mmm…snow…” he replied. Jon sighed happily as Stephen lowered his head to Jon’s thigh and rested it there. Stephen slowly slipped off into a deep sleep.
“Yeah…snow…” Jon whispered to himself, following suite. He, too, fell asleep, his head resting on the back of the couch, the last thing he saw before slipping off into darkness being the beautiful black sky and the bright white snowflakes.



Stephen breathed in slowly and let out a small whimper as he woke up. He opened his eyes and yawned, noticing that Jon was still asleep. He very carefully lifted his head from Jon’s lap and sat up, stretching. He remembered the snow from earlier and glanced out the window, this time unbelievably shocked by what he saw.
“Oh…my, God…” he whispered to himself. Huge, swirling clouds of snowflakes tore through the brisk night air and down onto the lit up city of New York. It was a blizzard…and God, it was coming down hard. Stephen’s thoughts immediately jumped to the writers, and he looked down to the sidewalk. He was happy to see that no one was outside, walking in ovals carrying picket signs. He noticed a sign sitting on the table where the writers would sit when they got tired. It read, “Inside. It’s cold. What do you want from us? We’re not robots, damn it.”
Stephen chuckled to himself and shook his head, then slowly stood from the couch, not wanting to wake Jon, who was still sound asleep. He walked over to his desk and sat down in his chair. He undid his tie and tossed it into the top drawer, undoing the top button of his shirt. He leaned back and sighed a sigh of relief, enjoying the now loose feeling around his neck. He was a little worried about his wife and kids, but he knew that he and Jon could hang out together that night.
As if by magic, his cell phone vibrated against his chest. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the text message he’d received. It was from Evelyn.

Honey,
We’re fine - the blizzard didn’t start til after we got home.
I know you’ll have trouble getting home in this weather, so stay there.
I love you and I hope you sleep well tonight.
See you tomorrow, baby.
- Evelyn

Stephen smiled slightly and hit the ‘reply’ button.

Thanks, sweetheart.
Glad you’re safe. Keep the kids (and yourself) warm. :)
Night, babe.
- Stephen

He turned off his phone and put it down on the desk, looking over at Jon. Stephen stood from his desk and strolled back over to the couch. He sat down next to Jon and looked back out the window, mesmerized by the gorgeous falling snow. He glanced down to the street below and smiled at the Christmas lights hanging on every storefront, the giant snowflakes hanging from the streetlights, the beautifully decorated trees lining the sidewalk.
He looked back over at Jon, realizing how Jon must feel every Christmas. New York City went all out for Christmas; Rockefeller Center was one of the largest tourist destinations during the holiday season. Stephen got an idea and clambered for the door as quietly as he could.



“Mmm…Stephen?”
Jon slowly woke to find the somewhat small office covered in menorahs, dreidels, and a bunch of chocolate coins. He giggled as he turned to look at the desk chair, where he saw Stephen sitting.
“You, my friend, are crazy.”
“Crazy like a squirrel.”
“Squirrel?”
“Fox is so played-out.”
Jon giggled again as Stephen smirked and walked over to join him on the couch. He leaned against Jon and sighed.
“So…you like it?”
“Definitely. But, why’d you do it?”
“I noticed the entire city decked out in Christmas garb and realized you must feel left out. If I knew more about the Jewish culture, I could’ve added more, but hey, I’m Catholic; we’re supposed to hate your kind.”
Jon laughed really hard this time. He lifted Stephen’s chin so they were face to face. He leaned in and kissed Stephen passionately, gripping his face tight. Stephen ran his hands through Jon’s hair as their tongues intertwined. Small moans escaped them both and after a second or two, they pulled apart.
“Stephen, I fucking love you.” Stephen chuckled and looked down a little. Some of his hair fell into his eyes, making him look somewhat younger and unbelievably cute. He looked back up at Jon and smiled.
“I love you, too, Jon.”



“Ahh! Jon!”
Everyone was laughing hysterically and having a blast. The entire staff of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show, and all the writers striking, had gathered together in the empty streets of New York to have one of the biggest snowball fights in the history of snowball fights.
Jon had just slammed Stephen in the back with a snowball. Stephen laughed loud and hard as he fell to the ground and gathered up snow in his gloved hand. He jumped up and threw the newly-formed snowball back at Jon. He missed and hit John Oliver instead, who laughed.
Stephen and Jon ran over to one of the dark storefronts together. They escaped the ‘hail-storm’ of snowballs and fell to the ground, laughing with each other. There was at least six inches of snow already on the ground, and the blizzard was still coming down hard. All the people in the fight continued to launch snowballs, completely oblivious to what Jon and Stephen were doing.
They leaned in close to each other and kissed sweetly, letting their hands roam a little. The kiss became more passionate as they pulled each other closer. They pulled apart and stared into each others’ eyes.
“God, I love you.”
“I know you do. I love you, too.”
They smiled at each other and kissed once more before Jon was pelted with a snowball. Stephen burst out laughing and Jon jumped up, ready to attack. Stephen followed suite and so continued the greatest snowball fight ever known to New York.

Mr. Sharps: When someone makes an emotional statement, I want the other one to echo, to repeat that statement, so, let's start with you. Lenny, how do you feel right now?
Lenny: Confident and good.
Mr. Edmunds: Pissed off and swollen.


Mr. Edmunds: Right, and he jumped out and hit me in the face eight times.
Mr. Sharps: The report said seven...
Mr. Edmunds: Uh, eight.
Mr. Sharps: Well, one for good luck.