“God damn it, House! Get your ass in the clinic, now!” The awfully piercing voice of Dr. Lisa Cuddy broke through the silence of House’s office. Dr. Gregory House was sleeping in his ever so comfortable office chair…well, he had been, until Cuddy’s screaming woke him up.
    “Cuddles. I see you’re nice and pissed today. Glad I could do that for ya so early in the day.” House said, rubbing his eyes awake. Dr. Allison Cameron was watching through the glass walls that separated the diagnostic chamber and House’s office. She was smirking as Cuddy fumed in the office.
    “Will you get your ass in the clinic? NOW!” she shouted. House smiled.
    “Why, of course, Dr. Cuddy. Why didn’t you just ask?” he said, getting up and limping out of his office. Cameron burst out laughing, receiving a look of absolute confusion from Chase and Foreman. Cuddy glared at Cameron before she stormed out of House’s office and down the hall to the elevator.
    It was a little past noon, and most of the doctors were heading out to lunch. House had grabbed a Reuben from the cafeteria on his way up to his office that morning, and had already eaten it while watching General Hospital. A minute after Cuddy had walked into the elevator, going down to the lobby. House had been hiding just down the hall, wanting to see what was going on with Cuddy. He followed her downstairs (in the other elevator, of course), and hid in the lobby. He watched as Cuddy walked up to the Nurses’ Station and began talking to Brenda and Katie. They were laughing and smiling with each other. Then House noticed something that made him want to burst out laughing. Cuddy was leaning on the counter and smiling, INTENTIONALLY showing cleavage to the two nurses. She whispered something into Brenda’s ear, making her laugh. Then, all three of them went to the door, hooked arms, and strolled into the parking lot. House couldn’t contain his amusement anymore, and burst out laughing, receiving questioning looks from passers-by.
    House stopped and breathed in slowly. Then he walked over to Cuddy’s office. He raised an eyebrow at the emptiness of it. He smirked as he leaned against the walls and grabbed his phone. He dialed a number and waited…
    “Hey, Cam. Care to join me in the clinic?” he said.
    “Sure. Be right down.” Cameron replied.
    “Great.” House shut his phone and shoved it back in his pants pocket. After only two minutes, Cameron was down in the lobby…but she wasn’t alone.
    “Jimmy?” House said, raising an eyebrow.
    “Hey, House. What’s up?” Wilson asked. Cameron smiled as she walked up to House and kissed him sweetly.
    “What’s going on here, Cam?” House asked, giving her a demanding look.
    “I told Wilson he could join in the fun.” Cameron said. “Remember? So I figured he could join us now…”
    “A threesome in the hospital? My, aren’t you naughty?” House said. Cameron winked up at him and looked around.
    “So, where were you planning on us having some fun?” she asked. Wilson looked a teeny bit uncomfortable, but House knew he wanted to join in the fun.
    “Cuddy just left…and I can guarantee she’ll be gone for an hour…not that we’ll need that much time, of course…” House explained, winking at the two. They walked into Cuddy’s office together, House locking the doors behind them. Cameron shut all the blinds as Wilson sat down on one of the couches in the office.
    “So…” he said, awkwardly. Cameron smiled and House shook his head.
    “Wilson, do you want to start with me?” Cameron asked. House gave her a look. HE wanted to start with her!
    “Hey, now, Cam! I thought I was your main man.” he said.
    “Come on, House. Would you rather start with him?” she asked Wilson. House looked Wilson up and down, and Wilson did the same to House.
    “I…don’t know…” Wilson said. House sighed and rolled his eyes.
    “Fine, I’ll start ya out, Jimmy-boy.” he said, limping up to his friend. Wilson’s eyes widened as he watched House lean down and put his hands on the button of his pants.
    “House…” Wilson said. House looked up at his friend and tilted his head, smiling.
    “What is it, Jimmy?”
    “I…uh…are you sure?”
    “Oh, come on, Jimmy. You’ve told me your fantasies -”
    “What?!”
    “You get drunk quite a bit more than you think, Jimmy, and when you do, you get loose lips.” Wilson looked down at this comment, then back up into House’s eyes.
    “…a-alright…” he finally said, nodding his head slowly. House smiled up at him and slowly unzipped his pants. He released Wilson’s cock from his boxers and spit on it. Wilson gasped as House grabbed his cock and ran his hand up and down as it got covered with a shiny layer of saliva and pre-cum. Cameron leaned back and watched with extreme heat building up in her body.
    Wilson began moaning and Cameron watched as House slowly wrapped his lips around Wilson’s cock and moved his head up and down. Wilson loved the feeling of the scruff against his throbbing member and almost screamed. Cameron couldn’t resist any longer and walked over to join Wilson on the couch. She kissed him passionately and felt him moan against her lips. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and let it tangle with his. House continued to move his head up and down faster and faster, until Wilson let out a gasp and he exploded into House’s mouth.
    “Mmm…Cam, want a taste?” House asked, getting up off the floor. He sat on the couch, happy he could get the pressure off his leg. Cameron leaned over House and kissed him, tangling tongues with him and swallowing some of Wilson’s cum. She smiled as she pulled back and nodded at House. Wilson looked up, a tad confused, and waited for the next thing to happen. House unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, pulling them down (along with his boxers) far enough for Cameron to have access to his cock. She lowered her lips onto the head and slowly slid downwards on it. House let out an anxious growl. Then Wilson took the hint and slipped his cock into Cameron’s wet and waiting hole. She let out a groan as the three of them got into a rhythm. Cameron moved faster and faster, up and down on House’s cock, while Wilson thrust into her with more force each time.
    A grunt escaped House as he felt himself about to release in Cameron’s mouth. Wilson smirked, remembering from a drunken night the grunt House made when he was about to cum. He slammed his cock into Cameron harder, his balls banging into her clit, making her squirm with delight. Finally, the three of them came all at once, moaning loudly and gasping for air. Wilson collapsed back onto the couch while Cameron fell onto House. They laid there in silence for a moment, then House decided to speak.
    “So, Jimmy. Whaddya think? Was it just how you pictured it?” he asked with a smirk. Wilson chuckled.
    “Not in Cuddy’s office, but close enough.” he replied. Cameron laughed and House shook his head. They clambered to get dressed as House checked his watch. Only 30 minutes left…maybe they could head up to his office and have some more fun. Cameron and Wilson scrambled about the room, fixing everything so it was exactly how it was when they came in.
    “Alright, crew, let’s get outta here before Mom finds us…that’d be embarrassing.” House said with an eye roll. Cameron and Wilson smiled as they walked out of the office with House. They headed up to the elevator and strolled into his office, House convincing them to have some fun in his office the whole way up.

    House sat down at his desk, his mind swimming in a vortex of amusement. He and Cameron had been exchanging innuendos and lingering touches all week, and he was having quite a bit of fun. House knew how much Cameron wanted him, but if the Wombat was screwing around with her, what the hell was he supposed to do? Not that he had any intention of pursuing Cameron in the first place. He still thought she was too young for him, not to mention the fact that everyone knew how anti-relationship House was; he had a rep to worry about. Eh, it was just too complicated. He obviously wanted Cameron, at least a little. What man wouldn’t? She was hot, smart, and she even had her snarkastic moments. But, with House being House, he wouldn’t ever make the first move. If Cameron wanted him, she could try her hardest to come get him. He wasn’t gonna budge.


    Cameron sat down at her desk, her mind swimming in a vortex of amusement. She and House had been exchanging innuendos and lingering touches all week, and she was having quite a bit of fun. She wanted House badly, and she knew (somehow) that House wanted her, too. If not for a relationship, at least for a little fun in the sack, which Cameron could use after screwing with the Wombat all the time. He was not what she wanted, but it was sex, and it had to suffice if she couldn’t have House. She’d never been interested in Foreman, even though he had a lot to offer. She saw him as more of a big brother figure. Anyway, Chase was okay, but the sex wasn’t great for her. She liked it a little more rough, and Chase was just too gentle. She may look timid on the outside, but Cameron liked an animal in the sack. She also figured that if she wanted House, she’d have to do something instead of expecting him to come after her. He may not like her with Chase, but he wasn’t gonna stop them somehow. He had a rep to worry about, and Cameron knew it. Well, she was definitely gonna go after him. She was gonna get him…and it was gonna be tonight…


    Wilson sat down at his desk, his mind swimming in a vortex of confusion. He wasn’t sure what was going on anymore. There were so many people that he thought he had a potential future with, but then they seemed to go for someone else. None of the new nurses seemed interested in him anymore. Cuddy seemed to be flirting with House lately (for some unknown reason), Cameron seemed to be flirting with both him (Wilson) AND House, and House actually seemed to be flirting with him every now and then. Wilson was an adventurous man, and was up for almost anything that involved sex. So he didn’t care if he got to do a little somethin’ with a woman or a little somethin with a man. As long as they were good looking and intelligent. Of course, Cameron and House were at the top of Wilson’s ‘To-Do List’ (if you know what I mean). He was going to do something about this whole mess…tonight…with the both of them…


    “I’m going home.” Cameron announced to the diagnostic chamber. Chase and Foreman had already gone home, but House was still in his office.
    “Don’t stop to screw anyone on your way.” House shouted back. He closed his eyes, intending to sleep for a while, but Cameron came in and threw his bag at him.
    “Hey! Cripple trying to sleep, here!” he said. Cameron laughed and shook her head. Then she walked over to the seat in front of House’s desk and sat down.
    “I want to show you something. Come with me.” she said. House gave her a look as if she was insane to ask him to go somewhere with her.
    “Why would I skip out on my fully booked night to see something with you?” House asked, tilting his head.
    “Because all you have planned is getting high on vicodin and screwing a hooker.” Cameron replied, nonchalantly. It was almost disturbing how relaxed she seemed. House was a little taken aback, but he composed himself and smirked.
    “Alright, then. What do you have to show me that’s so interesting?” he said. Cameron stood, grabbed his arm, and pulled him up out of his seat.
    “No respect for cripples anymore.” House mumbled under his breath. Cameron smiled and grabbed her bag. She waited for House to get his stuff, then they walked down to the lobby together.


    Wilson spotted Cameron and House walking to the elevator together. He was curious to find out where they were going, and immediately jumped up from his chair. He didn’t worry about locking his door, but shut off the lights and scurried out of his office. He took the elevator to the lobby, tapping his foot anxiously.
    “God, you’re slow.” Wilson heard Cameron say. He walked up to the nurses’ station and hid, watching his co-workers stroll into the parking lot.
    “And you’re…different. Where’s the timid immunologist I’ve come to know and despise?” House said curiously.
    “Just shut up and come on.” Cameron replied, dragging him to her parking space. House was used to seeing Cameron’s rinky-dink car there…but tonight, she had a pure black motorcycle with silver metallic streaks climbing up the body. House’s jaw dropped at the sight of it.
    “Holy shit, Cameron! Since when are YOU a biker babe?!” he said, raising an eyebrow in amusement. Cameron answered him by pushing her lips against his. It was a very rough kiss, and her tongue parted his lips to explore his mouth. House didn’t fight it - hell, he liked it the first time - and kissed her back with force. Wilson watched from behind a tree in the parking lot and waited for the two of them to get on the bike so he could follow them. He wanted in on the action, and he wasn’t gonna let his chance slide by. Finally, Cameron pulled away, gasping and smirking.
    “Climb on.” she said, grabbing her helmet - pure black - and sitting down on her bike. House had his helmet and pulled it on, easing onto the bike and watching out for his leg. He wrapped his arms around Cameron’s waist as she revved the bike.   
    “Did you get this for the pleasing vibrations?” House whispered in her ear, making her smile broadly.
    “No. I got it cuz I knew it’d impress you…and that would lead to you pleasing me.” she replied. She pulled out of the parking lot with House smirking at her comment. Wilson scurried to his car and started up the engine. He quickly threw his car into reverse, backed out of his space, and shot out of the parking lot after his friends. He followed them to the outskirts of town, where Cameron stopped the bike just down the street from her destination.
    “Where the hell are we?” House asked, climbing off the bike and yanking the helmet off his head. Cameron smiled as she turned to face House.
    “Down the street is a lovely strip club. Care to join me?” Cameron said suggestively. House’s eyes widened and he nodded as he followed Cameron down the street to the strip club. Wilson parked his car on the side of the street and followed his friends into the strip club.


    “Cameron…I hate to tell you, but this doesn’t look like a strip club…I see no strippers.” House announced. The building they’d walked into certainly had the atmosphere of a strip club - spotlights, pounding music, a fully stocked bar, a catwalk - but no one was there. No bartender. No strippers. No one.
    “Of course it’s a strip club. Sit down and relax. The show’s about to start.” Cameron whispered, leading House to a chair and pushing him into it. He was very much amused by this, and even more amused when he saw Cameron walk behind the curtain leading to the catwalk. Wilson had walked in the club and snuck behind the bar. He watched the interaction between House and Cameron, then peered over the bar as Cameron strolled behind the curtain.
    Suddenly, sexy music began pounding from the speakers, and a loud, booming, pre-recorded voice came through the speaker atop the catwalk. House smirked as he listened to the voice.
    “AND NOW…THE GIRL YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR…ALLLLLLYYYY CAAAAAT!” the voice boomed. House leaned back in his seat and watched with his mouth wide open as Cameron strolled out onto the catwalk in a sexy little outfit. Wilson watched in amazement as Cameron showed off her assets.
    Cameron was wearing a black leather top with a black leather skirt, fishnet stockings, and high-heeled boots. She also had a black tail and black cat ears on. House and Wilson smiled broadly at the sight. Cameron slinked up to the pole at the end of the catwalk and swung around it. She landed perfectly - like a cat - and gave House a sexy smirk. She spotted Wilson at the bar, but said nothing, and didn’t stare long enough to make House suspicious. She leaned over House and shook her breasts in his face. He couldn’t stop smiling, and he grabbed Cameron’s arm and pulled her down on top of him. She giggled as she landed. House pulled her top off of her and stared at her breasts. She giggled again, then pulled his lips to hers, making sure Wilson could see them. House finally broke the kiss and leaned down to take a breast in his mouth. He flicked his tongue on the hardened nipple, causing Cameron to gasp with pleasure.
    “Come on, House…” Cameron whispered seductively. She licked his ear, feeling the bulge growing in his groin. House growled as he pulled her boots and skirt down, then unzipped his pants and shoved them down to his ankles. He noticed that the fishnet stockings were crotch-less, which was perfection for House. He smiled at his girl as she smiled right back. He went to slip inside her, but she grabbed his wrist and stopped him. She shook her head no, and House smiled at her. Cameron wrapped her hand around his throbbing cock and rubbed the head against her clit. House closed his eyes and laid his head back in torturous pleasure. Cameron smiled and touched the tip of his cock to the opening of her wet, waiting hole.
    After House let out a growl, Cameron quickly slid his cock inside of her. This caused a gasp from both of them, and Cameron shot a quick glance at Wilson before she started moving up and down on House’s cock. He let moans escape his lips as Cameron kissed his chest gently. She ran her hands over House’s sweaty body. He pulled his lips to hers and held her bottom lip between his teeth. Cameron moaned and sighed as House rocked his hips with hers. They felt the heat burning inside of them as they got closer and closer to their climaxes.
    Finally, and with a releasing scream of pleasure, they hit their climaxes together, their bodies shaking in unison. Cameron’s body fell on top of House’s as they gasped to catch their breath. Wilson sat wide-eyed as Cameron glanced over House’s shoulder and smiled at him wickedly. She and House got up and dressed, then strolled over to the door. Wilson emerged from behind the bar and smiled at House and Cameron.
    “Wilson?! What the hell?!” House said, looking at Cameron, then back at his friend. Cameron smiled broadly at the boys.
    “Will you join us next time, Jimmy?” Cameron asked, tilting her head. Wilson raised an eyebrow, then nodded.
    “You bet.” he said. “I see that leg of yours doesn’t slow you down at all, House.” He winked at his friend then strolled out of the strip club. Cameron smiled at House, who looked absolutely dumbfounded.
    “What? You said you were into threesomes.” she said as she walked out the door and waited for House.
    “You sexy little minx, you.” House said, wiggling his eyebrows.
    “Come on, Mr. Sex Bomb.” Cameron replied with a laugh. Wilson couldn’t wait for his chance with House and Cameron…and it would come sooner than he thought…in fact, it would come NEXT SATURDAY…

House grabbed the file that was waiting for him outside of Exam Room 1 in the clinic. He read it in his head before entering the room. It said:

Name: Meg Laurie
Age: 20
Short Family History: healthy parents, healthy older brother (lives in Florida) , healthy boyfriend
Problem: Slight nausea, stomachache, slightly blurred vision

    House sighed as he opened the door.
“Meg…is you’re first name Nut? Cause you must be crazy if you think I’d believe you’re 20.” he said, looking the girl up and down. She couldn’t be more than 16, at the most. She smiled at him.
“Sorry. Just thought it would be cool if I could pass for 20; evidently I can’t.” she said, sitting on the exam bed. House felt the corner of his mouth go up in the start of a smile.
“Yeah, all the kids are doin’ it these days.” he said, sitting on his doctor stool. Meg laughed, causing House to paste on a full-blown smile.
“So, you have nausea…and blurred vision…not usually coinciding with one another…” House said. Meg nodded.
“I know…I’m not sure what’s wrong…I’m learning about this kind of medical stuff cause my dad’s a doctor and he’s teaching me, but even HE couldn’t figure out what’s wrong…” she said.
“How old are you, actually?” House asked, tilting his head to look at her differently.
“Just about 16.” she said, smiling. House’s left eyebrow shot up a little.
“Yeah, I figured…okay…well, it sounds like you just might be eating a little too much candy…that probably caused the stomach pain.” he said, already getting up to leave.
“But…what about my eyes?” Meg asked. House turned around.
“Ever heard of glasses? You’re gonna need ‘em. Or maybe some contacts…wouldn’t want to cover up those pretty eyes.” he said, winking at her playfully. Meg smiled and got up.
“Thanks, Dr…” she said, waiting for him to fill in the blank. When he didn’t, she checked his name tag.
“Oh! Dr. House. Thanks.” she said.
    Without any kind of warning, she reached up and kissed him on the lips. He didn’t really know what to do about it…she is a minor…but she’s pretty hot…no, she is a minor! House kept thinking in his head. His mind really went hay-wire when he felt Meg’s tongue slip into his mouth. He was completely lost for thought as she pushed him up against the door. When every logical idea had left his head, and all he was left with was the knowledge that some hot girl was making out with him, he couldn’t hold back. He gripped her tightly and kissed back, slowly pushing her shirt down off of her shoulders. The blinds to the room were closed, as they always were for patient exams, so no one saw what was going on. House moved from Meg’s mouth to her neck, then her shoulders, then her chest. She started to moan a little, and he held her tightly, never letting his lips leave her skin. She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off of him. Then she pulled him to her, gripping him tightly as well. House was kissing and sucking on her neck, so he didn’t see her eyes start to glow red and her nails become sharper…sharp enough to draw blood. She smiled, her fangs forming very sharp points in her mouth. Just as she was about to act, someone knocked on the door. The knock immediately brought House back to some kind of sense of reality. Meg immediately returned to her normal-looking persona. House yanked on his shirt, as did Meg, and opened the door. It was Wilson, of course.
“Hey, House…am I interrupting?” he asked, seeing how messy they both looked.
“No.” House said, flatly. He looked back at Meg, who smiled at him, then turned to Wilson and exited the room, shutting the door behind him. Meg cursed her failure and left quickly.
“What were you doing in there, House?” Wilson asked, overly curious, as usual. House rolled his eyes.
“Nothing that concerns you.” he replied. Wilson just sighed and nodded, walking with House as they made their way to the elevator.
“Okay, whatever.” Wilson said.
“Don’t say that. I hate that word. ‘Whatever.’ What a stupid word.” House said.
“Okaaay…” Wilson said. They boarded the elevator and remained silent the rest of the way up. As they parted, House shouted, “Hey, Wilson! Don’t forget to pay your hooker tonight! She came complaining to me!” Wilson stopped dead in his tracks, completely embarrassed in front of all the hot, young nurses. House smiled and headed to his office.
“Morning.” Cameron said. House didn’t respond, but instead walked up to her and stood right behind her, almost touching her, and peered over her shoulder. Cameron felt his hot breath on her neck and realized he was behind her.
“I’m making coffee. Want some?” she asked. House blew lightly on her neck and in her ear, making a shiver go down her spine. This action was purposeful, of course. He loved driving Cameron crazy.
“Sure, Cam, coffee sounds delicious.” he said, smiling. Cameron looked up into his eyes…and she thought she saw something…something different…but then House turned away and limped over to a chair, so she ignored it.


Meg sat in the clinic waiting. How long did it take for a doctor to come see her? Why do doctors take so long anyway? What are they doing? Having sex? That would probably be more fun than working with whiny patients. Meg sighed. She had to succeed this time. If she didn’t…well…she didn’t even want to think about what would happen to her if she failed. The door opened and she sat straight up.
“Meg Laurie?” Wilson said, walking in and sitting down.
“That’s me.” Meg said, smiling.
“Hey…didn’t you just come in here and see Dr. House?” he asked, suspiciously.
“Yeah, but I’m afraid I might…I might have cancer…” she said, looking worried now.
“Really? Okay, well, I can do a couple tests if you want…” he said, looking worried for her. He always cared too much about people he barely knew.
“Okay…” Meg said. She gave him a fake, half smile as she got up off the exam bed.
“Thanks, Dr. -” she said.
“-Wilson. Dr. Wilson.” he finished for her. She smiled again.
“Thanks, Dr. Wilson.” she said. Without warning, she leaned in and kissed him. Wilson didn’t know what to do…or think. She got a little stronger and more passionate as she slipped her tongue through his lips and into his mouth. Wilson hadn’t gotten anything from any women in a very long time, and his logicality flew right out of his head. He pushed Meg up against the door and kissed her while unbuttoning her shirt. She tore his shirt open and ran her hands up and down his back. Then she clutched him tightly as he kissed her neck. “Oooohhhhh…” she said. This made Wilson smile. He couldn’t help it. He held her tightly as he sucked on her neck. Meg grabbed Wilson’s head and moved it to face her. She stared deep into his eyes…“You are mine, Dr. Wilson. You will listen to me. Go home and stay there until I summon you.” Meg said, still clutching Wilson’s head. His eyes were glazed over. “I am yours. I will listen to you. I will go home and stay there until you summon me.” he said. Meg nodded and smiled. “Excellent…”



House sat in his office, staring at his coffee cup. He lost his mind in the solid red. His eyes seemed to glaze over, his hands and legs still. “Hello?” came a voice from somewhere else in the room. “Hello?! House?!” Cameron said, walking up to him and waving her hand in front of his face. He blinked a couple times and looked up at her face. “What?” he asked, slightly confused. “Are you okay?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Y-yeah…I’m fine…I think.” he replied. Cameron gave him a half nod that said yeah-I-don’t-believe-you-but-whatever. House sighed, then finally noticed the fact that Cameron was holding a file. “Patient?” he asked. She didn’t say anything, though; she just handed him the file. House took it, opened it, and scanned it. He looked up after only about three seconds. “Wilson?” he asked. Cameron nodded and gave him a solemn, melancholy look. “I haven’t seen him since 12:30-ish. He said he was going home to get something, but he never came back. And when he left, his face looked totally drained of blood and he had dark…almost black circles under his eyes.” she said. House thought for a minute. It WAS close to Halloween…maybe Wilson was getting into the spirit of the holiday. “I’ll check in on him…would you say he looked like a zombie, perhaps?” House asked, the slightest hint of sarcasm lurking in his statement. Cameron didn’t notice the sarcasm, and seriously contemplated his question. “Actually…yeah…kinda…I guess.” she finally replied. House stifled a laugh. “Okay. You can go now.” he said, waving his hand at her, motioning towards the door. Cameron sighed and nodded. She turned and walked out of his office, leaving House to think about Wilson…and his prank…or so he thought…

Meg sat in the clinic. She’d been planning out everything, down to the last detail. Each of House’s lackeys worked the clinic a different day. Cameron had Monday, Foreman was Tuesday, Chase was Wednesday, Wilson was Thursday, and House was everyday. She’d been lucky that she didn’t get House again when she came in on Thursday. Now it was Monday, so Cameron was up. She had been waiting for a little over an hour, now. She sighed, preparing herself for what was to come. Hopefully, she’d succeed again. It might be hard with Cameron. Her morals were high and mighty, as each of Meg’s peers and elders knew. They had taught her that if she tried hard and long enough, she would succeed. She nodded, remembering. “I can do it…” she said under her breath. Finally, the door opened and she made herself look as sick as she could. Cameron came in and smiled.
“Meg Laurie?” she said, sitting down.
“That’s me.” Meg replied with a forced smile. She forced a vicious, hacking cough. Cameron’s eyes filled with worry, and her eyebrows shot up.
“Are you okay?” she asked. Meg smiled and nodded, holding her chest tightly where the pain would be if she actually had a cough.
“Yeah, I’m okay, thanks.” she said. Cameron gave her a supportive smile.
“Okay, well, right now I’d say you might need a medication to treat that cough of yours. It’d be something similar to asthma medication.” she said, writing a prescription. She handed it to Meg, who smiled.
“Okay, thanks, Dr. -” Meg started.
“Cameron.” she finished.
“Thanks, Dr. Cameron.” she said.
Meg put her hand out to shake Cameron’s hand. Cameron smiled and took Meg’s hand. Then Meg pulled Cameron to her and kissed her. Cameron immediately thought to push her away, and she tried, but suddenly she was paralyzed. She couldn’t move her arms, legs, or even her head. Meg slid her tongue into Cameron’s mouth and gripped her body tightly. She pulled Cameron’s jacket off and her shirt down below her shoulders. Meg kissed Cameron’s neck and shoulders, then moved back to her mouth, and finally, she felt Cameron relax. So, she clutched her head and turned it to face her. “You are mine now, Dr. Cameron. You will listen to me. You will go home and stay there until I summon you.” Meg said, staring into Cameron’s deep blue eyes. Cameron nodded and repeated: “I am yours. I will listen to you. I will go home and stay there until you summon me.” Meg smiled. “Excellent…”



House was a little worried now. Wilson wasn’t answering his phone, and now Cameron had gone home as well. What the hell’s going on? he asked himself, resting his chin on his cane. Chase and Foreman came in his office. “Hey, House, have you seen Cameron?” Foreman asked. House nodded. “She left a little while ago. Said she was feeling sick and that she was going home, and she didn’t care if I fired her for leaving early.” he said. The boys were a little surprised. “Oh…okay.” Chase said. “Well, the patient’s doing fine. No new symptoms, no changes.” he informed House. “Good. Then, go away.” he said. Foreman sighed and went to the differential chamber, Chase following suite. They sat at the glass table and stared at the wall for a couple seconds. Finally, Foreman said, “I’m gonna go get some food. You wanna come?” Chase shook his head. “No, that’s okay. Thanks.” he said, looking back at House’s office. The blinds were closed and the lights were off. He hoped House was okay. He wasn’t the nicest guy, but House held them all together. “Okay.” Foreman said, leaving the office. Chase sighed and grabbed a book that was laying on the table. Suddenly, a girl walked in. She was maybe…16 years old. “Hi.” she said. “Hi.” Chase replied, cautiously. “I’m Meg. I’m looking for Dr. House…” she said, walking up to Chase. “Uh, nice to meet you, Meg. I’m Dr. Chase. Um, Dr. House isn’t…really…available, at the moment. Can I help you with something?” he said. Meg smiled at him, now within a couple inches of his body. “Yes, actually, you can.” she said, sitting on his lap and kissing him. Chase was taken aback. She worked pretty fast for just a 16 year old. She unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his bare skin. He exhaled forcefully, loving the feeling he was having. He gave in, pulling her shirt off of her and kissing her back. She ran her hands up and down his body, as did he. She started moaning a little as Chase nibbled on her ear. She smiled and gripped his head, moving it to face hers. She said her incantation. Now she had three of them. Three more, and she’d be done; her parents would take over…



Foreman was completely perplexed. Cameron, Wilson, and now Chase had all gone home saying they were sick or that they had to get something. He felt his forehead and took his temperature, freaking out a little that he’d get whatever bug his co-workers were getting. He was fine, of course. No bug was going around. Just Meg. But he didn’t know that. He knocked on House’s office door. “What?” House’s voice came through the glass door. Foreman opened the door and came in. “I’m…I’m a little worried about the guys, House.” he said. House didn’t want to admit it, but he was getting worried too. He rubbed his chin and said, “Calm down, Den Mother. Their fine.” He nodded towards the couch, meaning Foreman could lay down if he wished. Foreman sighed, then decided to take advantage of the offer. He laid down and tried to sleep. House looked outside; it was raining. The dark grey clouds flooded the sky as water poured from the heavens…if there were any. He looked back over at Foreman and decided to try to sleep, himself. He laid down on the floor and put a book under his head. About ten minutes later, both boys were sleeping soundly…the perfect opportunity for Meg to get to Cuddy without anyone storming in…

Cuddy was shoved against the wall. “MMMM!” she shouted, angrily. Meg was not letting up. She had stormed in Cuddy’s office and lured her to the door. Then she had gotten touchy and shoved her to the wall. And now, we’re caught up. Meg was kissing Cuddy all over, making Cuddy want to scream, but not in a pleased way. She wanted to scream ‘help!’ but she couldn’t. She was absolutely paralyzed. Eventually, Meg hit a spot that Cuddy couldn’t resist. She started to relax a little then, and Meg came back up to her mouth. Then she grabbed Cuddy’s head and said her incantation. Cuddy’s mind went completely blank. Now she was Meg’s. “Good.” Meg said.

House woke up and saw Foreman was still sleeping on his couch. He sighed as he pushed himself up off of the floor and tried to stand without his cane. He limped over to his desk, where his cane was sitting, and grabbed his Vicodin. He decided to see if he could nag Cuddy, so he grabbed his cane, popped two pills, and limped to her office. When he got there, there was no one in the room. The lights were off, the blinds were down, the computer was off. “What the hell…?” he asked himself. Meg came out from the darkness. “Hello, Dr. House.”



House fell back onto the floor from surprise at seeing Meg. His cane hit the floor and bounced a little. Meg smiled down at him. He sighed, remembering her from the clinic. Then he started to get a little suspicious, since she was in Cuddy’s deserted office. “What are you doing in here?” he asked. Before she could answer, he asked, “Where’s Cuddy?” She smiled again and leaned down. “First, I’m here to talk to you. Kinda. And second, Cuddy’s at a meeting.” she replied, showing a little cleavage to House. He couldn’t help but look for a second. Then he looked back up at her face and said, “O-okay…” He put his hand out for Meg to take and help him up, but she just inched closer to his body. She was finally about half an inch from his face. House exhaled forcefully towards her chest, causing Meg to smile quite broadly. She closed the distance between them and kissed him. He pulled her to him and gripped her tightly. She quickly removed his shirt and kissed his chest, running her hands through his hair at the same time. He shivered with excitement and tore her shirt open. They kissed strongly and deeply as they ran their hands up and down each other’s bodies. After a couple minutes, he felt her hands go to his head and turn it to face her. He stared into her eyes as she said some kind of strange ‘incantation.’ He felt kind of weird, and immediately repeated the incantation to her. She smiled, nodded, and left, pulling her shirt back on. He sat there on the floor for a couple seconds, then shook his head and got up, feeling bewildered. He didn’t understand what that whole thing was about. He slowly pulled his shirt back on as he contemplated what had just happened to him. Was that incantation supposed to affect him at all? Was it supposed to turn him on or something? Why did he repeat it back to her? Wait…what was it that he’d said? Something about being summoned. Something about doing something. He couldn’t remember. He pushed himself up and limped over to his cane, which had been knocked over to the wall. He grabbed it and left Cuddy’s office, still wondering what was going on, and now, where Meg had gone…

When he got back to his office, Foreman wasn’t there anymore. He looked around, not seeing anyone…in fact, it looked like there was no one left in the hospital…no nurses, no doctors, no scrubs…nothing. The hallways were dead silent. No sounds came from beeping machines. There weren’t even any patients anywhere. No crying parents outside children’s rooms. No worried husbands pacing the waiting rooms. No newborn babies in the nursery. House was the only person in the entire hospital. “Where the hell is everyone?” he asked the air. It replied, “We’ve taken care of them all.” House spun around and looked to the end of the hall. A couple stood there with two children, one of them Meg, and each of them dressed in black from head to toe. “Whoa, where’s the Ozfest?” House asked, standing his ground. “What do you mean, ‘you took care of them?’” They smiled and laughed. “You’ll find out very soon, Greg House. In fact, you’ll find out now.” The family of shrouded freaks moved quickly towards him, making him jump. He turned and tried to get away as fast as he could, but he was no match. They tackled him and held him down. “What the hell are you freaks?!” he shouted, desperately trying to escape. They smiled and replied, “We’re zombies, of course.” House’s face contorted in disbelief and fear. “What the hell are you talking about?! There’s no such thing as zombies!” he screamed. He was finally able to shove them off of him and ‘run’ down the hall. They continued to chase him, and he wondered how long he could go before collapsing from the pain of his leg and the lack of air reaching his lungs…



House landed hard on the floor, his cane sliding all the way to the glass, automatic-opening doors. He looked back and saw the zombies getting closer. He was really scared. He pulled himself up as best he could, and tried to reach the front doors. He inched forward, dragging his bum leg behind him. A tear rolled down his cheek as he realized he might die if he couldn’t move faster. He finally reached the door and shoved it open. He got to the outside and screamed for help as he attempted to get to the road. No one came. There was no one there. He wasn’t just the only person in the hospital, he was the only person in town…maybe in the world now…he cried as he turned and was taken by the zombies. “NO!” he shouted, his face getting redder with fear and anger. “LET ME GO!” he screamed. The zombies laughed and flew into the night, House’s tears making a trail on the road. “PLEASE! CAMERON! CHASE! CUDDY! FOREMAN! WILSON! SOMEONE HELP ME!” he screamed…

“Thanks, Dr…” Meg said, waiting for House to fill in the blank. When he didn’t, she checked his name tag. “Oh! Dr. House. Thanks.” she said. She smiled and left the clinic room. He stood there, completely stunned. “W-what?” he asked himself. None of it had happened…Meg was just a normal kid. Everyone was still bustling around the hospital. House looked around the clinic room, then the clinic. He looked in Cuddy’s office; she was still there. He smiled and walked in. “Hey Cuddy!” he said, limping up to her and hugging her. She didn’t move. “What are you doing?” she asked, confused. House just kept smiling and hugging her. “Nothing. Have you seen Wilson?” he asked, pulling away. Cuddy shook her head slowly. “Nope.” she said. House nodded and moved back out into the hallway. “WILSON?!” he shouted. Wilson came out from the nurses station. “What?” he asked, looking frustrated. “WILSON!” House shouted happily. He limped up to his friend and hugged him. “Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re okay…” he said. Wilson was lost for words. “Um…House, are YOU okay?” he asked, feeling House’s forehead. House laughed at his friend. “I’m GREAT!” he said, limping up to the elevator and heading up to his office. The whole crew was there. “GUYS! You’re here!” he shouted. Everyone gave him a weird look. “Uh, where else would we be?” Chase asked. Cameron was stirring up coffee at the glass table. House went up to her, pulled her up to him, and kissed her. When he pulled away, he said, “I love you, Cameron.” She was shocked. “W-what?” she said, but he pulled her in for another kiss. She couldn’t resist; she held him tight and kissed him back. They stopped and smiled. House turned back to Foreman and Chase and said, “Come on, guys, we’re all going out for drinks. Let’s go.” They looked at each other, then smiled and stood up. “Cool.” Chase said. They left the hospital and drove to a local bar. That night was one of the best night’s of their entire lives. When House got home, he laid in his bed and thought. Was the whole thing with Meg a vision? A hallucination? A magic trick? Some bad fish? He didn’t know, but he was glad it wasn’t real. He smiled as he fell asleep peacefully.

Meg watched from outside House’s bedroom, her eyes turning red and her nails growing sharp. She smiled into the window, baring her fangs…

THE END

    Christmas break. They all got a week off. It was rare, but Cuddy had been in a good mood that day and decided that they all needed a little vacation from House. Cameron, Chase, Foreman, Wilson, and Cuddy had all gone out for celebratory drinks. House had been invited, but of course, he declined. It was about 8:00 at night when Cameron got to her apartment. She walked in, threw her coat and keys on the couch, and headed into the kitchen.
    As she put the kettle on and lit up the flame on the burner, she glanced over at her calendar. She saw her birthday marked on the 28th. She sighed as she sat down with her calendar in one hand and a marker in another. She marked off the past day. Only 2 more days til Christmas Eve…and 7 more til her birthday. She hoped House would remember…but she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t. He was definitely being more of an ass lately, what with the whole Tritter fiasco, the struggling with his patients, and the battle with his pain vs. his pills vs. his control. She really couldn’t handle it much anymore.
    An annoying whistle interrupted her thoughts and she quickly jumped up and turned off the gas stove top. She grabbed the pot by the handle and poured some boiling water in the cup full of powder on the counter-top. She slowly stirred the contents of the cup, adding milk and cream. She topped it off with some marshmallows and a glop of whipped cream.
    Everything was put back into it’s respectful place, and she grabbed her cup of hot chocolate and sat down on her couch with candles lit and Christmas music playing in the background. She had set up a line of her favorite CD’s to play: The Brian Setzer Orchestra’s Boogie Woogie Christmas, The Brian Setzer Orchestra’s Dig That Crazy Christmas, A Jazz Christmas, Mannheim Steamroller’s A Fresh Aire Christmas, Mannheim Steamroller’s Christmas In The Aire, and Mannheim Steamroller’s Christmas. The first song on Boogie Woogie Christmas, Dig That Crazy Santa Claus, began to play and Cameron sipped her hot chocolate happily as she listened to Brian Setzer sing:

        “Dig that crazy Santa Claus, with his red suit on,
        Dig that walk that crazy talk, man oh man he’s really gone,
        Dig that crazy Santa Claus, with his bag of toys,
        Drags his sack through the chimney stack,
        All the little hep cats jump for joy!
        Cool it Rudolph, cool it, with your nose aglow,
        Tell those other reindeer, when Santa starts to blow, GO, GO!”

    The song continued and she pulled a blanket over her, huddling up in the corner of her huge couch. She sighed and listened to the music as she stared at the dark fireplace, full of wood but with no flames. She’d have to fix that. She got up, grabbed the matches, and lit up the fire.
    As she sat back down and huddled back up under the blanket, she smiled and watched the flames dance around on the logs. She felt so wonderful and comfortable. She slowly fell asleep to the sights, sounds, and feelings of Christmas.


    Alone on Christmas break. How terrible. Well, he was getting used to it. Sometimes Wilson would come over and spend some time with him, but he hadn’t for the past two years. They’d been having major disagreements over things lately and he wondered if Wilson would even come over if he called him. House sighed. He’d never admit it, but he hated being alone on holidays. Especially Christmas. No, he didn’t believe in Christ or God or anything like that, but it was still nice to have company during Christmas time.
    He picked up the phone and rang up his best friend - his only friend - and waited for the ringing to stop on the other end…but it never did. House felt his heart drop. He listened to the endless ringing, and finally, Wilson picked up.
    “Jim--Wilson…hey, um, do you wanna come over?” he asked, hoping desperately that Wilson would agree to it. He heard a sigh…then a moan.
    “H-H-House…I…ugh…oooohhh…uh…oh!” he said. House smiled very broadly and twirled his cane as images flew through his head.
    “Oh, Jimmy, I see you’re a tad busy. Perhaps I’ll call you later.” he said, and before he could even say anything else, he heard the dial tone of the dead line on the other end. He felt the smile quickly fade from his face. He sighed as he hung up the phone and leaned back on his couch. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, hoping for some kind of company, even if it was just the TV.
    House turned to face the couch back and smothered his face in the pillow. He pulled his favorite blanket up and over his body and tried to fall asleep to the sounds of The Colbert Report. He was deeply saddened that he was alone…again. Eventually, he fell asleep, the sad, gripping feelings of loneliness taking him over.


    Wilson woke up in his bed with his arm wrapped around someone. He glanced at the clock first. Why, he wasn’t sure. It was just the first thought that came to mind, rather than who the hell was resting their head on his chest. The clock read 9:30PM. He sighed, then finally checked out the woman’s face that was slowly rising and falling with every breath he took. It was…oh! He remembered now! It was Luella! Wow, I must have been really hammered…he thought to himself. It had only been a few hours since they’d had their fun, and already the affects of the alcohol were taking over. He smiled and rolled his eyes, remembering that House had called him in the middle of it all. He figured he’d might as well call his friend back, so he slowly moved Luella to her side of his bed and got up. He pulled on his boxer shorts and a button-up shirt and headed to the living room.
    As he grabbed the phone, he sat down on the couch and pulled a blanket over his cold legs. He dialed House’s number and listened to the ringing…then, finally, he heard the answering machine pick up:

    “You have reached a number that has been disconnected, and is no longer in service. If you believe you’ve reached this recording in error, go away. Hang up. On 3. 1...2...*beep*”

    “House. It’s me…you called earlier and I was…um…busy…” he said, pausing. He sighed.
    “Okay, you’re either not there, or you’re ignoring me, so I’ll talk to you later, I guess…bye.” he said, hanging up. He sighed again and leaned back, crossing his arms behind his head. He thought about Luella for a minute, then his mind drifted back to House…he figured House was feeling kind of lonely. He did this every year. House would call around Christmas and want him to come over. Wilson rolled his eyes. He’s been such a jerk, and now he wants me to come over and sympathize with him? I don’t know…he thought to himself.
    After some thought, he figured he’d at least go over and check on House. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t popping and injecting himself to an early grave. So he got up and went back to his room to get his pants. He pulled them on and buckled his belt, making sure to be as quiet as possible so as to not wake up Luella. He snuck back out to the living room and pulled on his shoes.
    As he did so, he saw Luella’s card on the glass coffee table in front of him. He grabbed it and scanned it real quick. It read:

    Full name: Luella Shayla Derfler, M.D.
    Licensed in: Diagnostics  Age: 32
    Place of employment: PPTH
    (Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital)
    Department: Diagnostics under Dr. House

    He stifled a laugh as he read the last part. House was gonna have a fit when he learned that he’d have to have another person working with him, let alone in his very office. Wilson headed for his car as he thought about how to break the news to House. He couldn’t hold it in anymore and let out his laughter. He shook his head as he got into his car and revved up the engine.
    His radio turned on when the car started up, and his Mannheim Steamroller CD began to play. He loved Mannheim Steamroller. They captured the total essence of Christmas, in his opinion. He drove off as he listened to the beautiful music blasting from his CD player.


    Cameron heard her phone vibrating and jumped a little. She looked over at the coffee table, where her phone was slowly vibrating it’s way toward the edge, and eventually, the floor. She grabbed it and flipped it open.
    “Hello?” she said, drearily.
    “Hey, Allison. How are you?” came the voice through the phone. Cameron shot up and gasped.
    “Luella?! HI! Oh my gosh! Hi! I’m good, thanks! How are you? I haven’t talked to you in the longest time!” she said. She heard a laugh and then a happy sigh.
    “Yeah, it has been a while. Glad you’re doing well. I’m doing pretty well myself. I’ve got a boyfriend, a new motorcycle, and a new job.” Luella explained.
    “Oh, that’s fantastic! Come on, dish. Tell me all about it!” Cameron said.
    “Well, my boyfriend is this wonderful man. His name is James Wilson and he’s an oncologist!” she said, happily. Cameron felt herself gasp involuntarily.
    “Did you say James Wilson? An oncologist? Where does he work?” she asked.
    “He works at the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, and so do I! That’s where my new job is! I’m gonna be working under Dr. House, who’s supposed to be a fantastic diagnostician…” she said. Cameron’s mouth dropped and she leaned back against the couch.
    “Oh my god…you’re gonna be working under House? Luella! I am on House’s staff! I work for him! And James is one of my best friends! We get to work together! That means that you must be here, in New Jersey!” she said.
    “Yeah, I just got here a couple days ago. Wow! This is amazing. I can’t wait for tomorrow morning!” she said. Cameron was excited, but then she realized what Luella had just said and sighed.
    “Oh, Luella, I’m sorry, but we have the week off for Christmas. Cuddy, the head of the hospital, gave us the week off. But I’m having a party on Christmas Eve! The whole crew’s coming, and even if I have to drug him and drag him here, House is coming too. So, you wanna come?” she said, smiling.
    “SURE! I’d love to! Thanks! Well, I’m gonna go. I’ll call you tomorrow, though, okay? Love you.” Luella said.
    “Okay! Talk to you tomorrow. Love you too.” Cameron replied. They hung up and Cameron leaned back, smiling giddily. She was so happy that her sister would be working with her. Wow…her sister.
    Luella, who preferred to go by Shay, was only 3 years younger than her, but they seemed to be equally mature and on the same intellectual level. She loved her sister, but Luella had always been a traveler. She had been to California, Connecticut, England, Germany, Italy, France, China, and even Alaska.
    Cameron had always been slightly jealous, but was so happy that she decided to take a break from the traveling and work in PPTH. The party would be fun…if she could get House to come…


    “House!” Wilson screamed, pounding on his door. House shot up on the couch and looked around. He heard the pounding and screaming and glanced over at his door.
    “HOUSE!” came another shout. House got up slowly, then fell back down onto the couch, his leg in extreme pain. He popped some vicodin and rubbed his leg furiously. After another knock and scream, House rolled his eyes, but still couldn’t get up.
    “THE DOOR’S OPEN!!!” he shouted in response. Finally, Wilson walked in, covered in snow, and sat down in the chair in House’s living room. The time was now 10:47PM. House sighed and looked at Wilson, who was shivering.
    “Hey, Wilson.” he said. Wilson looked up and nodded, then went back to rubbing his arms and legs together for warmth.
    “Quite a snowstorm going on outside.” Wilson said. House continued to rub his leg.
    “Really? I didn’t notice.” he replied. Wilson rolled his eyes and took off his hat, finally feeling warmer. He yanked off his gloves and shoes and leaned back in the chair.
    “So, how are you doing?” Wilson asked. House looked up at him, then back down to his leg.
    “Well, Jimmy, since it’s so close to Christmas, I’m getting all warm and fuzzy inside. I can totally feel the love. Ya know what I want for Christmas? World peace.” House replied sarcastically. He grabbed the bottle of vodka that was on the table next to him, and took a couple gulps. Wilson sighed.
    “Well, isn’t that just peachy keen? Look, I came over here to make sure you were okay…you sounded kind of worried on the phone…but, obviously, you’re having more fun alone, so I’m gonna go.” Wilson said. House stopped drinking and paused.
    “No. You’re gonna stay. I’m fine. I just wanted to ask you who it was that you’re doing? And don’t deny it, I heard it on the phone.” he said, raising his eyebrows. Wilson shook his head and leaned back.
    “Her name’s Luella Shayla Derfler, and she’s a certified diagnostician, just like you.” he said. House’s eyes got big and he let out a laugh.
    “First off, Luella?! What kind of name is that?!” he said.
    “It means ‘elfin.’ Ya know, mystical.” Wilson replied, staring into House’s lit up fireplace.
    “ELFIN? Whatever gets you off, Jimmy. Second, she’s a certified diagnostician? You just can’t stay away, can you?” House said, grinning devilishly. Wilson rolled his eyes again.
    “Yeah, I’ve totally got the hots for diagnosticians. Why do you think I’m around you all the time?” he asked. House sat very still and stared at Wilson, who then began to laugh.
    “You’re more gullible than you think, House.” he said. House sighed.
    “Oh, yeah. I’ll fall for anything. I can’t believe you have a little playmate.” he said, winking at Wilson. “Do I get a ride?” he asked. This time Wilson sat very still and stared. House smiled broadly.
    “Where does she work?” he asked. This was the hard part…
    “She’s gonna be working at the hospital.” Wilson finally said. House gave him a look of doubt.
    “Are you testing my gullibility, Jimmy? Because I am the master. You can’t fool me.” he said. Wilson shook his head.
    “Here. This is her card.” he said, handing it to House, who read it slowly. Then he finally looked up into Wilson’s eyes and his jaw completely dropped.
    “She’s working for me?” he said, bewilderment taking over his face. Wilson nodded and tried to hide his smile.
    “Cuddy never told me-” House started.
    “She knew you’d say no, so she thought it’d be a great little Christmas surprise for you.” Wilson explained. House shook his head this time.
    “I can’t believe I’ve got a newbie. That’s totally not gnarly, dude. I bet she’s a total hoover.” he said. Wilson looked up, confused.
    “A hoover?” he asked, tilting his head. House nodded.
    “Yeah. A hoover. Means she’s probably a sucker. Ya know, like a Hoover vacuum cleaner? Well, I‘m sure she‘s done some sucking, but not on dirt…” he said. Wilson smiled, but sighed exasperatedly.
    “She’s not a ‘hoover,’ as you put it. She’s fantastic. And you’ll get to see just how wonderful she is in about 2 days, at Cameron’s Christmas party.” he said. House shook his head.
    “Uh, doubt it. You’re not gonna get me to go to that stupid party.” he said. Wilson smiled and nodded.
    “Yeah, sure.” he said. House smiled at him. They were getting along.
    Hopefully…it could stay that way…at least for a while…


    Cameron picked up the box of pasta she’d dropped on the floor. Luckily for her, it was closed and remained that way. She walked over to her counter, where all the ingredients for a fantastic meal were set out and waiting to be mixed into something yummy. She sighed happily and poured the box of pasta into the pot of boiling water on the stove top.
    As she threw the box away, her doorbell rang and she looked up. She glanced quickly at the pot on the stove, figured it would be fine for a couple minutes, then headed to the door.
    When she opened the door, she looked around, but saw no one. Just as she was turning around to go back inside, she saw a small package sitting in front of her. She knelt down, grabbed the box, looked at it for a moment, then went back into her apartment.
    The box was beautifully wrapped. The pattern on the paper was simply wonderful. It was blue squares, with a blue background, and light pink snowflakes in each of the squares. There was a dainty little gold bow sitting on top of the box. And there was a small card attached. Cameron took the card off the box and read it carefully. It said:

    Allison,

    Merry Christmas. I’m pretty sure you’ll like this.

    Love always,
    Santa Claus

    Cameron laughed. Santa Claus? Yeah, right. She smiled as she opened up the box slowly and carefully.
    Inside the box was…a cute little stuffed-animal kitten. Cameron picked it up and looked at it. Aw! It’s so cute! she thought. She put it to her face and rubbed it against her cheek, feeling the softness of it. Then she looked it over again, but this time she found something much more amazing.
    On the neck of the stuffed kitten, there was laying a gorgeous blue topaz and diamond necklace. It had a silver chain and it was simply magnificent. No doubt, it was for her birthday. She wondered who it was actually from as she clasped the necklace around her neck. She checked the mirror in the foyer of her apartment.
    “My god…this is so beautiful…” she whispered to her reflection. She smiled giddily and happily, then went back into the kitchen to make dinner.
    As she cooked, she kept trying to think of possible Santa Clauses. She considered Foreman first. But, no…they weren’t really close. Then Chase. Well, it would make sense since he was somewhat obsessed with her. But, no…he didn’t know her birthday was December 28th. Then Wilson. He was very nice and sweet. But he was her sister’s boyfriend, and he didn’t know her all that well, anyway. Next…and last…was House.
    “House couldn’t have…could he? Could he? Or could he? Could he?” she said to herself as she stirred the pasta in the pot. She shook her head.
    “I don’t know…this is so complicated…” she said. She stared into the pot of boiling water and pasta, and thought for a minute. That’s when she decided that she’d have to find out who this Santa Claus was…and she WOULD find out…one way or another…


    House woke up to the smell of coffee. He sat up and looked around. What the hell? he thought, staring straight ahead of him. A Christmas tree stood in his living room, lights and ornaments hanging from its branches. Presents wrapped beautifully were sitting under the tree. Stockings adorned the fireplace and, of course, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” was playing softly from the stereo.
    Wilson walked in with a tray holding two cups of coffee and two plates of macadamia nut pancakes.
    “What did you do?” House said, snatching the coffee cup angrily from the tray. Wilson smiled and sat down in the chair next to the couch, setting the tray onto the table.
    “I made it more holiday oriented around here. I also made breakfast.” he replied cooly, which made House even angrier.
    “Did I ask you to, Cindy Lou Who?” House said, taking a bite of his pancakes. Wilson sighed and gave House a look.
    “No. But I took it upon myself to bring you a little Christmas cheer, Mr. Grinch.” he said. He smiled broadly then glanced over at the fireplace that, currently, had no fire going in it.
    “Well, gee, Jimmy, thanks for decking my halls.” House said, sarcastically. Wilson got up and headed over to the fireplace. He grabbed some logs from the small bin against the wall and set them up. Then he took a match from the box on the mantle, struck it, and set it to the newspaper underneath the logs. The fire started and looked brighter then ever. It was warm and beautiful and it smelled wonderful.
    House felt a very small smile start on his face. When he realized what was going on, he wiped his mouth with his hand, taking the crumbs of the pancake and the smile off his face, and leaned back on the couch. Wilson sat down and stared into the dancing flames that were consuming the fireplace.
    “Thanks.” House said after a long moment of silence. Wilson just sat and smiled. House glanced over at him, and he nodded to his friend. They sat together, eating and drinking, listening to the crackling of the fireplace.


    Cameron laughed as Clark W. Griswold stapled his sleeve to the roof of his house. Christmas Vacation was her favorite movie and she decided to watch it. She sipped her coffee, wearing only a silky, lacy nightgown and slippers, with a plaid button-up shirt over it. The shirt was more like a sweater to her, since she wore it over her nightgown to keep her warm. Her dad had worn it every year around Christmas time. He gave it to her when she was 12, telling her how it was his favorite shirt and that he wanted her to have it. She absolutely cherished the shirt, wearing it as much as possible when she was at home.
    There was only one more day until her Christmas Eve party, and she couldn’t wait. She knew that Wilson and Luella were coming, as well as the rest of the crew, and she figured if anyone could convince House to come to her party, it was Wilson. She smiled as she thought about it, sipping her coffee slowly.
    Then, another knock on the door interrupted her comfortable little session of coziness. She sighed, put down her coffee, and got up. She didn’t bother to close up the shirt she had over her slightly revealing nightgown. She wasn’t really expecting anyone, so she didn’t think it would matter if she covered up. When she opened the door, she was shocked.
    “Merry Christmas, Cameron.” Wilson said from behind the looming body of House in Cameron’s doorway. He stared down at her, then his expression changed as he noticed what she was wearing. He exhaled strongly and stared at her for a moment before saying anything.
    “Damn, Cameron.” he said, giving her a wink as he walked inside her apartment.
    “Sure. Come on in.” she said, sarcastically. House smiled at the comment and sat down on her couch. Wilson followed suite with a couple gifts in his arms.
    “Oh, Wilson, you didn’t have to bring me anything.” Cameron said.
    “Damn it, Jimmy, she guessed it.” House said. Cameron smiled and giggled, immediately noticing the Christmas Vacation reference.
    “If you guys would like to stay for lunch, Christmas Vacation’s playing, and I’m making a huge meal.” she said, smiling at the boys. House looked bored…or like he didn’t really wanna be there. Maybe he was just uncomfortable because she was wearing something that was pretty skimpy…and she had NO intention of changing. Wilson was cheerful, as always. He looked like he was happy to be there.
    “Well, you know, we’d love to, but, we just don’t want to.” House said, starting to get up. Wilson pulled House back down onto the couch and gave him a look like a mother telling her son to behave. House sighed and rolled his eyes.
    “No, we’ll stay. Thanks Cameron.” he said, giving Cameron a smile. She smiled back and offered to take the gifts still in Wilson’s arms and put them under the tree. She realized she’d have to bend over to do this, since she was on the other side of the coffee table. Great, House gets a show and I get a ‘no.’ she thought, rolling her eyes. She leaned over the table and took the gifts, letting House see a bit of cleavage. She pulled away and put the gifts under the tree, then glanced over at House, who was watching her behind. She turned back around and headed into the kitchen.
    “Champagne, guys?” she asked. House grumbled and Wilson said yes. She brought out three glasses of champagne, and a bottle of Cristal. House watched her as she poured each of them their glass, then took her own and raised it in the air.
    “A toast to Christmas?” Cameron said, tilting her head. Wilson smiled and raised his glass as well. House sighed, rolled his eyes, and finally, raised his glass. They toasted the holiday that House had no intention of celebrating, and drank. They all watched Christmas Vacation together, drinking champagne like crazy.
    Around lunchtime, Cameron made them all a huge feast. She set the table with everything that was needed, as well as with every part of the meal, then went to the tree and grabbed three presents out from under it. She placed each at their own respective places and called the boys in to eat.
    House and Wilson sat down and looked at the presents that were sitting on their plates.
    “I thought we could all open a little something since Christmas Eve is tomorrow.” Cameron said, sitting down at the head of the table. House immediately picked up the gift, silently volunteering to go first. He yanked the bow off and began scratching at the wrapping paper. He opened the box to find a book of SuDoku puzzles. Along with that, there was a bag of candy. House smiled. He quickly checked the tag and saw that the gift was from Wilson.
    “Cool. Candy time.” he said, taking a lollipop out of the bag. Cameron lightly tapped his hand.
    “No, food time.” she said, giving him a motherly look. Wilson opened his gift next: it was a book of places to visit in New England, along with a deadbolt lock. He looked up at Cameron, whom the gift was from.
    “The book’s for vacations, it’s gorgeous in New England. The lock’s for your door at work. Incase you ever want to keep House out of your office.” she explained. Wilson smiled broadly and glanced at House, who made a pouty face.
    “Fine then, suck all the fun out of work.” House said. Cameron shook her head and opened her present. Inside was a stuffed bear dressed up like a doctor. It was holding a bottle that was supposed to have pills in it, but instead, had a pair of diamond earrings in it. Cameron gasped as she took them out and put them on. When she checked the tag, it said the gift was from Santa Claus.
    “Guys, who’s this from?” she asked. They looked at each other, then back to Cameron.
    “Not from me…” Wilson said.
    “I wouldn’t spend that much on earrings.” House said.
    “Then who’s it from?” Cameron asked herself. The group sat there for a moment, then House piped up.
    “Are we gonna eat anytime soon?” he said. Cameron dished up everyone’s food and they all ate their fantastic meals, talking and sometimes, laughing. But in Cameron’s mind, she went over every person that could be Santa…and she always wound up with House as the answer…


    The phone rang…and rang…and rang again. House lifted his head and looked around wearily. He didn’t recognize the nice and cozy place that he was in…then he realized he was at Cameron’s apartment. He had laid down to take a nap and had slept all afternoon. The phone was sitting on the table in front of him, but he had no intention of answering it…then again…it might be someone with juicy secrets about Cameron…
    “Hello?” he said into the receiver of the cordless phone.
    “Cameron? You’re voice changed.” came the voice of a particularly annoying wombat on the other end of the phone. House sighed and rolled his eyes.
    “And Foreman, you sound Australian…have you visited the Croc Hunter recently?” he asked, tilting his head. There was an annoyed sigh then the rustle of the phone changing hands.
    “House, where’s Cameron?” Foreman asked. House looked around as if the boys could see him and were making sure that he was checking the room.
    “Well, oh my good golly gosh, boys, I don’t know where that sweet little piece of cutie pie is.” House said with a southern accent. He snickered to himself.
    “CAMERON!” he shouted, not pulling away from the phone. This shout, however, did cause Foreman and Chase to pull away from THEIR phone. House could hear Chase saying ‘ow’ and he laughed. Finally, Cameron came into the room in her nightgown, this time without the shirt over it. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she looked hotter than ever. House didn’t speak, just handed her the phone. She gave him a look, then put the phone to her ear.
    “That freaking hurt, House!” Chase yelled into the phone. Cameron pulled back, stared at the phone for a minute, then put it back to her ear.
    “Chase?” she said. Immediately, the other end got dead silent.
    “Cameron? Sorry for yelling…it was directed at-”
    “House? Gee, I never would’ve guessed.” she said, giving House another look. He smiled broadly at her then laid back on the couch and closed his eyes.
    “What’s up, Chase?” she asked, a hand on her hip.
    “Foreman and I have a surprise for you. We’re waiting outside.” he said.
    “Okay…I…I’ll be right down…House and Wilson are coming, too.” she said. House looked up at her with an evil glare and she just smiled at him.
    “Oh…okay.” Chase said reluctantly. “See you in a minute.”
    “Okay. Bye.” Cameron said. She hung up the phone and sat down on the end of the couch. House was staring at her: half because he didn’t want to go see MC Hammer and The Croc Hunter, half because she was dangerously close to him in a very skimpy outfit…
    “What are you staring at?” she demanded, yanking his mind from the dirty thoughts it was pursuing.
    “Nothing. Where’s Wilson? Don’t tell me you two have been doing the horizontal tango while I was sleeping?” he said, smiling. Cameron gasped.
    “House! Of course not, you idiot! He took a shower and has been in my den, reading books. I went to my room to take a nap as well.” she said. House nodded, unconvinced.
    “Riiiiight.” he said, winking at her. Cameron rolled her eyes and House smiled, getting up from the couch slowly. A jolt of pain shot through his leg and he fell back into the couch. Cameron was at his side in a second.
    “Are you okay? Take a vicodin.” she said, grabbing his bottle from the table and handing him a pill. She rubbed his leg so he’d feel better, and all the while he was staring at her, dumbfounded.
    “Geez, Cameron, if you’re that desperate, I know a hooker…” he started. Cameron gave him a very angry look and stopped. She pulled back and stood up.
    “Ya know what House? You’re an ass. I’m just trying to help you.” she said. She turned on her heel and left the room, heading to her bedroom to change. House smiled after her and stood up, rubbing his leg. He grabbed his cane and his jacket and headed for the door.
    “JIMMY!” he shouted. He opened the door and a couple minutes later, Wilson was after him, down the hall.


    Cameron stared, open-mouthed and dumbfounded at the thing sitting in front of her.
    “Oh my god, Chase!” she shouted. A couple tears started rolling down her cheeks as she smiled broadly. House’s mouth was open wide, his eyes as well.
    “Happy early Birthday!” Chase and Foreman shouted together. Cameron walked up to the brand new motorcycle that was sitting in front of her. It was a Triumph and it was hers. House was insanely jealous.
    “Oh my god…thanks so much, guys!” Cameron said, pulling in the boys for a hug. Wilson smiled as he watched Cameron get on the bike and check it out. House sighed, causing Wilson to look at him.
    “What’s up with you?” he asked, tilting his head.
    “What? Nothing.” House replied. But Wilson wasn’t fooled.
    “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
    “Of Cameron’s hair? No, but I wouldn’t mind her ass…in my bed, that is…” he said, smiling.
    “House. You know what I’m talking about.”
    “Oh, Jimmy, how wrong you are.”
    “No, I’m not…wait…wrong about what…wait…what?” House laughed.
    “Bye, bye, Jimmy.” he said, limping up to the motorcycle Cameron was straddling. He moved in real close to her and whispered something in her ear that made her gasp and smack House’s shoulder.
    “Hey, now! Show some respect for the cripple.” House said as he limped up to the stairs leading to the front door and sat down on a step. Wilson walked up to Cameron with a curious look on his face.
    “What did he say to you?” he asked. Cameron smiled at him.
    “He said the thing he wanted for Christmas was to be my motorcycle. I’ll let you work that one out on your own.” she said, winking at him. Wilson’s mouth hit the ground when he realized the joke.
    “HOUSE!” he shouted, heading back over to his friend as Cameron laughed loudly.
    “Yes, Mom? Is it time to go in already? But I like it outside! WAA! I wanna stay outside!” House said, chuckling at the end of his rant. Wilson rolled his eyes.
    “Come on. Get up. Let’s go.” Wilson said.
    “What are you TALKING about? I’m not going anywhere.”
    “Oh, yes, you are. We’re taking Cameron out for dinner.”
    “Oh, little Jimmy sunshine. Trying to turn my frown upside down. How sweet…and at this moment, utterly annoying.” House said. Wilson sighed.
    “Come on.” he said, pulling House up off the step. He dragged him over to Cameron, who was still straddling her bike.
    “Let’s all go out for dinner.” Wilson said to the group. Chase, Foreman, and Cameron seemed happy. House did not.
    “Okay, but you’re paying.” Cameron said with a laugh. House felt a small smile creep across his face.
    “Alright, my treat.” Wilson said. They all piled into Wilson’s car, except for Cameron, who rode her bike there. They arrived at the restaurant and sat and ate happily. Little did Cameron know, there was another present from Santa Claus coming soon…sooner than she thought…


    Chase and Foreman had gone home, and Wilson, House and Cameron had gone back to her apartment. They all watched TV for a while, but eventually, House dragged Wilson out into the hallway, telling Cameron that he had work tomorrow and had to get home before his mom grounded him. Cameron nodded, while rolling her eyes, and thanked them for coming. The boys left and she was alone in her apartment.
    All she thought about was Santa Claus…or who she thought was Santa Claus…of course, she thought it was none other than House. But would he be willing to get her such extravagant gifts? No…not really…so what was going on?
    The phone rang, interrupting Cameron’s not so deep thoughts. She got up from the couch and answered the phone.
    “Hello?” she asked, sleepily.
    “Hey, Cameron.” came a sweet, caring voice from the other end.
    “Hey, Wilson. What’s up?” she asked.
    “Just wanted to thank you for the day. It was fun. Can’t wait for your Christmas Eve party tomorrow.” he said.
    “No problem. Yeah, it’ll be a blast…is Luella coming?”
    “W-what? How did you know-”
    “She’s my sister, come on. There’s no way I wouldn’t know.”
    “Okay, well, yeah, she’s coming.”
    “Is…is House coming?”
    “Ya know…I think he might be…”
    “Really? Great! Okay, well I have some stuff to do, then I’m going to bed, so good night and sleep tight.”
    “Okay. Good night, Cameron.”
    The click of the receiver, then the dial tone. Cameron hung up the phone and smiled, heading over to her Christmas tree. She had a special present for House…Wilson said he’d help her with it…she hoped he’d like it. She picked up the box labeled ‘To: House’ and held it in her hands, looking at it tentatively.
    She smiled broadly, then looked down at the other presents under the tree. There was another one from Santa Claus. She smiled even more broadly and picked up the box. It was beautiful. Wrapped in blue and snowflake paper with a silver bow on top and silver string holding it together tightly. She slowly pulled off the string, then the wrapping paper. She now held a box in her hands, which she lifted the lid from.
    Inside was a photo album and a journal. Cameron felt a tear run down her cheek as she realized what the gift really was. The photo album contained memories of her and her husband, as well as her and her father. Her dad had passed away awhile back and they’d always been very close, so it completely devastated her. The album was gorgeous and wonderful, showing pictures of her with her father when she was just a little girl…they were laughing together.
    The journal was her diary from when she was little, and it spoke of the great times she’d had with her mom, dad, brother, and sister. She loved them all so much, but she didn’t see them very often. She smiled, reminiscing about her childhood. Then she thought about who could’ve gotten her a gift that was so sweet and thoughtful…
    It had to be House…it HAD to be…he’s the only one that knows so much about her…but why?! He’d already shown that he wasn’t attracted to her…in fact, quite the opposite. He found her to be rather annoying. So if he was Santa, why would he get her such thoughtful and expensive gifts if he had no interest in her? Did he have an interest in her…no…or…did he? She had no idea. She brought the gifts into her room and set them on her bedside table.
    As she climbed into bed and turned out her light, she contemplated the people in her life. She’d done this about four or five times in the past couple of days, and yet, she had no answer for her question: Who was Santa Claus?


    “Come on, House!” Wilson shouted from the couch in the living room. House hobbled out of the bathroom in jeans, a rocker t-shirt, and an un-buttoned button-down shirt. He headed over to the jacket closet in the room and grabbed his biker jacket.
    “Sorry, Mom, I told you before; I need a lot of foreplay.” he said with a smile. Wilson made a face of disgust, which caused House to chuckle. Wilson got up and walked toward the door.
    “Just don’t let it happen again. Let’s go. We’re gonna be late.” Wilson said.
    “Oh, god forbid we be late! We better get going right away, Jimmy!” House replied with a mock worried look on his face. He and Wilson walked outside and up to House’s bike. House put on his helmet and got on his bike. Wilson was standing there, staring at House.
    “You’re not riding with me.” House said, revving up the bike. Wilson smiled and laughed, then headed for his car. They drove over to Cameron’s apartment for the Christmas Eve party she was finally having.
    The boys arrived at Cam’s place and went inside. House was reluctant, as usual, but he and Wilson headed up to Cameron’s door. They knocked and waited for her to answer. Finally, she came to the door with a smile on.
    “Hey guys! Come on in.” she said, cheerily. Wilson smiled, nodded, and headed inside. House stood dumbfounded for the second time in two days. He couldn’t stop staring at her. She was wearing a beautiful black dress, a diamond necklace that came down to the very start of her cleavage, and her hair was done just as it was on the Hospital Poker Tournament night. She looked at him curiously for a moment, then smiled and pulled him inside. She shut the door and turned to him.
    “Hi, House. You look nice and seasonal.” she said, crossing her arms.
    “Oh, yeah. I’m totally decked out this year.” he replied with a smile back.
    They gave each other a nod, then she told him to have fun, and she walked over to the rest of the crew. House shook his head, trying to stop his feelings from taking over. He walked over to the table of food, where there were drinks…more specifically, alcoholic drinks. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and sat down in one of Cameron’s leather chairs, watching as everyone around him had fun.
    He was surprised by how many people Cameron knew…she didn’t seem like the social butterfly type…although, she did remind him a bit of a valley girl. He took a swig of his drink and glanced in Cameron’s direction. She was talking to MC Hammer, The Croc Hunter, and Wilson, and she was obviously having fun. House rolled his eyes and took another swig of vodka. Idiots. he thought.
    Wilson looked over at the chair House was sitting in and sighed.
    “I’ll be right back, Cam.” he said. He walked over to House and gave him a look.
    “House.”
    “Yes, Satan…oh, I’m sorry, Jimmy, I thought you were somebody else.”
    “House, cut the crap. Come have some fun.”
    “Do I look like Santa Claus to you?”
    “No. Not in the least. You look more like the Grinch. But you should be having fun on Christmas Eve.”
    “I’m good, Cindy Lou Who.” With that, Wilson sighed and turned around, heading back over to Cameron and the boys. House watched the crew having fun and took another swig. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and got up. But he didn’t go over to the crew; he decided to explore Cam’s apartment. He walked down the hall and towards the den…it was nice. Dimly lit, with a black leather chair and a huge bookcase full of books. He took a look at the collection of books, realizing he owned many of the same ones.
    “Well, she’s got good taste…” he said to himself.
    “Thanks.” came a seductively warm voice from the doorway. House spun around…well, okay, he didn’t spin, not with his leg, but anyway…to see Cameron in the doorway. She smiled at him, but didn’t come any closer. Instead, she held out a gift for him. He got a peculiar look on his face and limped up to her. He towered over her, staring down at her innocent seeming face, her looking back up at him.
    “Merry Christmas.” she whispered, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. Then she turned around slowly and headed back into the living room. House smiled as he watched her behind, then looked down at the gift in his hand.
    The tag read ‘To House’ and the gift was wrapped beautifully. He pulled the paper off and opened the box to find…keys. There were a set of keys sitting in the box. House lifted them up and stared at them with a confused look on his face. Then, he noticed a note in the box where the keys had been. He picked it up and read it. It said,

    You’ll get the second half of your gift tomorrow, on Christmas Day.

    Sincerely,
    Allison

    House sighed and shoved the keys in his pocket. He’d just have to wait for the rest of his gift. He headed back out into the living room and noticed a note sitting under his drink. He picked it up and read that one, which said,

    Follow the golden leaves on the floor to get a special Christmas Eve surprise. The end will be the leaf with a star on it. Good luck!

    - Santa Claus

    Now House was getting a little annoyed. Santa Claus? Yeah right. He got up and looked down at the floor and spotted a leaf. He was curious, so he followed them up to the fireplace…

    Cameron had found a note under the tree on the other side of the room. She read it and saw that it was from Santa Claus. She did as the note told her and followed the golden leaves, only wondering for a brief moment who had put them on her apartment floor. She reached the fireplace and found House there, looking around. Then she saw that the leaf on her fireplace mantle had a star on it. House noticed it too. They looked at each other, then pulled out the notes that Santa had given them.
    “Same note?” Cameron asked.
    “Same note.” House replied.
    “What does it mean?” Cameron asked.
    “I don’t know.” House replied. They shrugged it off and turned away from each other, Cameron off to socialize, House off to drink. Little did they know that Santa Claus was in the room…and he sighed when he saw that his plan hadn’t worked.
    “Maybe Plan B will work…” he said to himself. He’d be setting the plan into action Christmas morning…and hopefully it would have better results than Plan A had…


    A strange crackling sound woke House from his deep, peaceful slumber. He looked up wearily, still exhausted, and checked the time on the clock. It was…
    “6:00 in the morning?! What the hell?!” he said. Wilson obviously heard him and walked into House’s bedroom.
    “Morning, sleepyhead. Merry Christmas!” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. House gave him an angry look.
    “It’s 6:00 in the morning, and you were being VERY loud. What were you doing? Having a little early morning fun?” he said, smiling broadly.
    “Oh, House, even your ridiculous comments can’t anger me today. It’s Christmas, you misfit, come out into the living room and open some presents!” Wilson said, getting up and heading out into the hallway. House sighed exasperatedly and got out of bed. He scratched his head and ran his fingers through his hair quickly. Then he grabbed his cane, popped a couple vicodin, and went out into the living room in his pajamas. There, Wilson, Cameron, Chase, Foreman, and Cuddy were waiting for him.
    “What the hell?” he said, obviously angered by the Christmas-cheered faces all around the room. Everyone smiled and said, “Merry Christmas, House!” House rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. Wilson couldn’t help but laugh at how cynical his friend was, even on Christmas day. He handed gifts out to everyone; he was being Santa Claus. They all spent their mornings opening presents and talking. They ate breakfast, which Cameron made, and drank eggnog spiked with a dash of vodka.
    Later that day, after everyone had gone home except for Cameron and Wilson, House was sitting in his favorite leather chair. He was wondering where Wilson and Cameron were…well, mostly Cameron, since she was wearing another hot outfit of hers.
    “HEY! Where’re the little elves?!” he shouted. He looked around and didn’t see anyone running into the room, so he just shrugged his shoulders and flipped through channels on the TV as he sipped his spiked eggnog. He looked over at the tree for a second and found a gift that was still sitting under the tree. It was labeled, ‘To House.’ He got up, went over to the tree, picked up the gift, and opened it to find another note.
    “Great. Another super fun scavenger hunt. Who do I look like, Captain Jack Sparrow?” he asked himself. He read the note, which said,

Go outside to see the rest of your present. Hope you enjoy it…I know I did. ;)

- Santa Claus

    House was pretty curious now, so he walked to the door and opened it slowly. He actually dropped his cane when he saw what was waiting for him outside. The first thing he saw was Cameron in some lingerie and her plaid shirt. Then he saw what she was sitting on.
    “Guess that’s what the keys are for, huh?” he said, raising an eyebrow and limping up to her. He ran his hand along the seat of the Triumph motorcycle that now belonged to him. Cameron put her hand on his and he looked up into his eyes. She smiled at him and climbed off the bike. Then she led him inside, since she was pretty cold, and stood in the doorway of the living room.
    “What are you standing there for?” House asked, tilting his head, but loving the view he was getting. Cameron just smiled broadly and looked up at the ceiling. House’s eyes quickly followed…and saw mistletoe hanging above him and Cameron. He looked back into her eyes, shook his head, and smiled.
    “Very sneaky, Dr. Cameron.” he said with a wink. Then he pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her deep and passionately. The kiss lasted at least a minute, then finally, House pulled away, smiling wider than Cameron had ever seen.
    “Do you like your present?” Cameron asked, running her hand down his chest.
    “Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas to me.” he said, holding her waist. They kissed again, and this time, they didn’t stop.
    Outside, Santa Claus was smiling as he saw his plan work perfectly.
    “Merry Christmas, Cameron. Merry Christmas, House.” he said. He brushed his blonde, flippy hair out of his face and sat down quickly before either of his fellow team-members could see him.
    He spotted Foreman crawling up to him and smiled.
    “Did it work?” Foreman asked.
    “Yeah. It worked.” Chase replied.
    “Good job, Santa.” Foreman said, slapping Chase’s arm happily.
    “Thanks, Elf!” Chase said, laughing. He crawled away from the window and ran down the sidewalk, Foreman running after him. He picked up a snowball and nailed Chase in the back with it. They laughed as they ran and threw snowballs at each other.

    Wilson sighed happily. Cuddy rested her head on his arm.
    “That was…fun.” she said, smiling. Wilson nodded.
    “Yep. Thanks for the Christmas gift. I loved it.” he said. Cuddy laughed.
    “Yeah, no problem.” she said. “But be warned, you’re getting the same thing next year!” She pinched his arm and giggled.
    “That’s fine with me!” he said, pulling her back to him as she tried to get out of the bed.
    “Come on now, you’re not going anywhere. Let Cameron and House have their fun, and let us have ours…” he said, smiling. Cuddy nodded.
    “Okay. That’s fine with me.” she said, repeating him and running her hand down his chest til it reached it’s intended target. They had their fun all day long as Cameron and House had theirs…and Foreman and Chase went to get some drinks.

This is the story of Dr. Wyatt and Dr. House. Two different doctors who cross paths in PPTH and soon become good friends…or do they? Let’s watch…

SESSION ONE…

*House limps into the lobby of PPTH looking angry, as usual. Cuddy looks out of her office and sees him. She runs out to the lobby and stops him.*

House: You’re in my way, Cuds. My hooker’s waiting for me in my office, can ya make this snappy?

Cuddy: *rolling her eyes* Look, I need to talk to you for a minute.

House: *sighing* Are you selling magazines? Sorry, I don’t pay for anything without a show first… *looking at her low-cut top…or rather, DOWN her low-cut top*

*Cuddy drags House into her office and sits him down on one of her chairs. She leans against the front of her desk and sighs.*

Cuddy: House, I just heard about what your dad did to you when you were a kid…

House: *sighing heavy* Look, it’s over now. I’m an adult.

Cuddy: No, listen to me. I think you need to talk to a psychiatrist. You need to talk about it to someone, and a rape victim doesn’t count unless they’re a certified psychiatrist.

House: That’s discrimination, Cuds.

Cuddy: Stop it. You’re seeing a psychiatrist. And if you don’t, I’ll just give Dr. Whitner the parking space that you supposedly worked SO hard for.

House: *with a frustrated, yet submissive look on his face* Fine.

*House walks out of Cuddy’s office and is greeted by his new psychiatrist…well, actually, he literally runs into him…*

House: Does no one have respect for cripples anymore?! *trying to get off the floor*

Wyatt (Fry): Oh, I’m terribly sorry, sir. Here, let me help you up. *reaches hand out*

House: *staring at him like he’s crazy* I can get up fine on my own.

Wyatt: Well, alright then. Say, I think you’re my next patient. Are you Dr. House?

House: Who wants to know?

Wyatt: Well, sir, I’m Dr. Wyatt, your new psychiatrist. I believe Dr. Cuddy hired me to talk to you. So, shall we? *gesturing toward an exam room*

House: *making a strange face at Wyatt’s British accent* Yeah. Whatever.

*They walk to the exam room then lock up the door and sit down together.*

Wyatt: Alright, so let’s begin. Firstly, would you like some tea? I always bring some with me…or perhaps a tum-y-toe toasty would suit you?

House: Um, tea? What’s wrong with you? We drink coffee here in America. And tum-y-toe? What the hell is a tum-y-toe?

Wyatt: Oh, yes, I believe Agent Booth told me about coffee last week. Well, no matter. Oh, yes, tum-y-toe! Tum-y-toe! Goodness, me, you don’t know what a tum-y-toe is?

House: Do you mean a TOMATO?

Wyatt: Is that what you Americans say? I suppose that’s what it is here, but I -

House: Okay, ya know what, I don’t need a life story. Let’s get this therapy session over with. I’d like to get back to ignoring Cuddy and clinic duty.

Wyatt: *smiling* Of course. Well, I hear that you had some problems with your father as a child. What happened?

House: *sighing and staring at the floor* He abused me. He’d make me take ice baths or make me sleep on the lawn or beat me whenever I did something that he didn’t like. My mother never found out because I couldn’t bear to tell her and I didn’t think she’d believe me, anyway. I never talked about it before. The only people I’ve ever told are Wilson and Eve.

Wyatt: Wilson? Eve?

House: A friend and a patient, in that order.

Wyatt: Ahh, I see.

House: That’s pretty much it, so I’m gonna leave now. *gets up and heads for the door*

Wyatt: Not so fast, Dr. House. Dr. Cuddy said you can’t go until I sign your therapy session release papers.

House: *turns back to face Wyatt* So grab a pen and sign ‘em.

Wyatt: Can you tell me why you think your father abused you?

House: No. I’m not my father. Why don’t you ask him?

Wyatt: Because HE’S not my patient, YOU are. So until you can figure out WHY your father may have abused you, I’m not signing your papers and YOU will continue therapy.

House: *sighing and sitting down* Oh, goody, more time with Mr. Tum-y-toe Toasty. Okay, fine then, bring it on, Jeeves.

THE END OF SESSION ONE…

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